My birth stories
Kia ora! I’m Deborah Faith Jones, a birth consultant and doula operating in the Manawatū area. You can check out my offerings here, but here’s a little birth story to help explain how I got into this in the first place.
When I found out I was expecting my first baby I knew I had some significant fears about childbirth and wasn’t sure how I was going to handle labour. As I started looking for midwives in my area I came across a few who talked about supporting women to birth physiologically, who had a philosophy that birth is natural, and so forth. I had never thought of it that way since much of what I knew about childbirth was from women who had not enjoyed their birth experiences or it was the catastrophizing dramatisation of birth that I had seen in film and television.
This caught my interest and I went on a research rampage that really helped me to process my fears about whether or not I was capable of birthing without panic and terror dominating the experience. I booked a midwife who would support me in that and about halfway through my pregnancy I made a decision that I really needed to take which was to plan for a home birth. That was what I felt safest with and I’m really glad I went with my gut.
I had sporadic contractions overnight night when labour started and couldn’t sleep even though I knew I should try. Labour slowed a lot when the sun came up and then intensified later the second night. Transitional labour felt really intense for me and I loved being able to hold my mum’s hand on one side and my midwife’s hand on the other while my husband slept for this part! I birthed Madisen at 5am on a beanbag in the living room. I pushed for three hours and I credit my desire to avoid an episiotomy for finally mustering the strength to bring her down and out. It wasn’t a perfect birth, but I had looked forward to doing it and I held onto that self-confidence and trust during the birth. I had a managed third stage (the midwife helped me birth the placenta) because I was quite tired from my efforts. Afterwards I felt peace about the choices I’d made along the way and how things turned out on the day. I also knew that I wanted to be stronger physically and more aligned in my pelvis before giving birth a second time. It was a really positive birth experience and I felt immense pride in myself for conquering my fears and embracing the power of childbirth.
Baby Madisen at 20 weeks gestational age
My second child was born at home too and was a very different birth, though it taught me that I was holding onto some things that weren’t perfect about my first experience and I learned that my body was capable of remembering those things for me. I had an overnight early labour like I’d had with my first baby, but this time my waters had already broken at 4pm - all over the carpet! I’d been sitting on a gym ball which became something like a water feature! I was up all night thinking labour would intensify the first night this time, but it didn’t. In the morning I thought about whether or not I would need antibiotics and appreciated being able to tune in and be open minded about the way things might go. I was confident my boy would arrive that day. Arthur was born in the birth pool after a couple of hours of intense labour that started while I was watching Pirates of the Caribbean to relax. I pushed him out in 15 minutes. In the first few hours after the birth I had another managed third stage and this gave me the opportunity to release what I was holding onto about my daughter’s birth.
I continue to ponder my birth stories and learn more about myself from them. I know that the next time I am pregnant I will have more to learn and birth will continue to teach me new lessons about myself everytime I go through it. It was also this second managed afterbirth that helped me recognise the value that a doula can bring to the birth space after the baby is out - something I was realising by the absence of a doula in both my birth experiences. I sensed a challenge to safeguard the sacredness of the moment of birth and the first few hours with baby the next time I (hopefully) have the privilege of bringing another little one out into the world. Doulas are a great ally for this! So I resolved to hire one next time, but this also helped solidify my sense of being called to hold space for other birthing women as a doula myself as I’d been thinking about that during my pregnancy with Arthur.
Baby Arthur at 12 weeks gestational age
I love this about childbirth - how it opens us up and shows us who we are and who we can be. I love it so much I want to walk alongside other women who are discovering that for themselves and are open to seeing birth as a transformative event in their life and not something that needs to be gotten over and done with.
If you’re curious about what it could be like to have a doula in your birth team, check out my services page and read my self-introduction here. You can reach out to me to book a no-strings consultation and see if we’d be a good fit.
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PS: I don’t show my kids’ faces online, but how cute are those ultrasound pics? I don’t know if I’ll get routine ultrasounds for my next baby, but it is quite lovely seeing how well formed they are at 12 and 20 weeks.